Community Blog

Shabbat Shalom! This week’s Torah portion is Parashat Beha’alot’cha, which begins with the instructions and then follow-through of the lighting of the menorot in the Mishkan, along with the initiation ceremony of the Levites. We also read of the Israelites’ constant complaining and their entitled attitudes.

Chapter 11 of the Book of Numbers opens by telling us that the people complained bitterly, “evil in the ears of HaShem.” That is, Rashi explains, they weren’t just moaning amongst themselves but with full intention of being heard by God and budging God into doing something for them. God lashes out in frustration, and then the people turn to Moses to intercede for them. He does, and God extingushes the fire that was ravaging the outer rings of the camp, but the people continue to complain that they want better food. They’ve only been traveling for three days, after a year of camping at the foot of Mount Sinai, and they expect to enter the promised land any day, but already they are too hungry, too thirsty, they are soOoOoOo tired, and they want Moses to fix it all for them. Moses turns to God, and basically says, “Well, they’re YOUR kids”. It’s one of the many places that the Midrash really runs with these scenes of Moses and God acting like beleaguered parents going back and forth with a lot of “Did You hear what Your kid did at school today?” and then to the Israelites, “Just wait til Your Father gets home!” type conversations. 

The Israelites are spiritually children, fresh out of slavery, with no sense of independence or any idea how to care for themselves in a meaningful way. For this reason, God disciplines their insolence and ingratitude and inability to follow directions through making them wander the wilderness for 40 years instead of walking right into the Promised Land, so that when they do enter they have developed more self-discipline, independence, communal care, and other important life skills. And in the meantime, God does continue to care for them. Sends them manna to provide constant nourishment, sends meat when they ask, creates springs in rocks when there are no oases for large stretches of the desert. 

    I don’t have children yet myself, but through my roles as educator and babysitter over the last many years, I have observed this dynamic regularly. No matter how precocious the child, there are always moments of childishness, temper tantrums, entitled demands, and miscommunications that are equally frustrating for the child and adult involved. And even when students are unruly, or children are ungrateful, even when the feelings are bigger than the bodies or vocabularies encasing them, we love the children in our lives. We bend over backwards to accommodate them, or to educate them as to why they can’t be accommodated. We try to help them learn to be independent and strong, to grow into healthy capable people, and in the meantime, we manage the screaming, soothe the crying, try to feed them something they’ll actually eat and remind them daily that they are loved and they are worthy of love. 

    And hopefully, when we do all that right, they turn around and speak to the adults in their lives as Moses does to his father-in-law in the parasha, just before the incident with the complaining masses. In Numbers 10:29-32 we read that Moses said to Yitro, “Come with us and we will be generous with you; for HaShem has promised to be generous to Israel.” And when Yitro declines the offer, Moses continues, “Please do not leave us, inasmuch as you know where we should camp in the wilderness and can be our guide.” Moses is completely capable of leading the people onward. He has been all along. But he still understands the value of his elders’ experience and wisdom, and he does not want to part with his parental figure and his teacher. It is such a bittersweet moment, and I have loved the moments in my own life where I have felt like the Moses or the Yitro in such scenarios. 

    May all those embarking on new journeys of childcare, whether parents or educators, aunts or uncles, babysitters or older siblings, be blessed with love and patience, wisdom and understanding. May their efforts be rewarded with respect and capable new humans. May the children in our lives be blessed with love and learning, care and compassion. May their needs always be met and may they learn with grace the difference between wants and needs. And may we all remember that everyone gets hangry and sometimes we just need more protein and a nap. Amen and Shabbat Shalom.