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A Rabbi, a Minister, and an Imam walk into a local diner...

01/20/2023 01:56:17 PM

Jan20

Shabbat Shalom! This week’s Torah portion is Parashat Vayechi, in which Jacob gives his final blessings to his children. He also declares that Joseph’s sons, Ephraim and Menashe will be inheritors of Israel as equal as any of Joseph’s own brothers. Jacob prophesies that Ephraim, the younger, will be greater than his brother, which does not seem to bear out in physical terms (in maps of Biblical Israel, Menashe has the most territory of any tribe), though the rabbis find hints in later parts of the Tanakh that Ephraim was more revered as they offer their sacrifices first in the Tabernacle and Temple. Jacob also prophesies that for the rest of history the Children of Israel will bless their children in the names of Ephraim and Menashe, as it says in Genesis 48:20, “So he blessed them that day, saying, ‘By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying: God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.’” And this has continued to be true to this day, as the traditional Shabbat blessing over sons is exactly that phrase, while the blessing over daughters is the much more expected, “God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah”.  

The generally accepted understanding of this is that Ephraim and Menashe were exemplary role models, particularly in their brotherhood. A couple of the main commentaries on Sefaria mention that Jacob hoped all future generations of Jewish fathers would encourage their sons to be like Ephraim and Menashe, but I couldn’t find one that offered any midrashic evidence for why this should be the case. Most seem more concerned with explaining why Ephraim is bless first, why Jacob places his right hand - usually intended for the first-born - on Ephraim’s head. It is true that we witness a lot of sibling rivalry throughout genesis, and deep generation wounds between family members, which are notably missing from Ephraim and Menashe. But we also don’t get much information about Ephraim and Menashe at all! Other than learning of their births and this blessing, they hardly rank above their cousins, the rest of the children of Jacob’s 12 sons. 

It seems likely to me that somewhere along the way this reasoning, this vague midrash of Menashe and Ephraim’s relationship, was inserted because it was what Jewish parents wanted it to mean. It is important to try to get along with one’s siblings, to keep peace in the home, and in general to try to minimize conflict with others. This week’s (M)Oral Torah from T’ruah (The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights) suggests that this role modeling from Ephraim and Menashe should extend to how we view ourselves in relation to all of our community, not just our blood relatives. Rabbi Scott Shafrin brings a quote by Maya Angelou into his d’var Torah for this purpose: “I don’t believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.” This quote, and his broader point about how all Jewish people care for one another, really jumped out to me, perhaps because I read it just after exchanging some emails with fellow clergy of Prince William County about our next lunch meeting. 

Back in January of 2019, I reached out to a few fellow clergy members that I had become friendly with through Unity in the Community events or other similar interfaith opportunities. They reached out to a few more, and now I have an email list of about a dozen faith leaders in Prince William County. It had been clear that there was a desire to do more interfaith gatherings together, and I thought if we as leaders were more connected on a personal level, it would be easier to collaborate on a communal level. It turned out to be true, as we pulled together our amazing Interfaith Day of Learning in January 2020, with the intent of doing such a thing yearly, though of course Covid deflated that energy a bit. During the quarantine phase of the pandemic, we continued to meet monthly over Zoom. It felt like a lifeline to me, and I don’t think I’m alone in that, to discuss how other communities were faring, who was using an interactive video chat app like Zoom for their services and who was using a one-way livestream like YouTube, who was leading from home and who was streaming from an otherwise empty sanctuary. And as things continued through 2021, it was helpful to have each other as each house of worship planned their returns to in-person community gatherings. Though not all of us were ready to reintegrate with the world at the same pace, and our monthly meetings lost some of their consistency as a result, as the schedules of those resuming regular life and those still staying home became more differentiated. In 2022, we had our only two in-person lunches total since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, but I have hope that they will be more consistent again in 2023 (next week’s meeting will make two months in a row!), and with that we may be able to also resume more interfaith learning opportunities for all communities or more coordinated faith-based action in the county. 

All of the clergy in this lunch group have worked at building these relationships. It happens to also be fun, and we enjoy each other’s company, but I know it takes work for each of us to carve out that time in our schedule. It takes energy to connect to each other, and to keep using that energy to build connections between our different communities. Honestly, creating this group is one of the things in my rabbinate I’m most proud of, a gift I’ve given myself. In many ways, it does feel like a siblinghood, this shared bond of being clergy, this sacred time to connect with each other about things that most other people in our lives don’t understand are part of our jobs. And by working on that condition of building brotherhood and sisterhood between us, we hope to bring better relationships back to the rest of the faith community of Prince William County, that we may all relate to one another as Ephraim and Menashe did together. 

I can only pray that we are successful in that measure, that our congregations see and feel the ripple effects of our siblinghood, even if not all congregants are aware of it. May we all find ways to connect with others, to build bonds beyond blood, to share space with others in kindness and in peace. Amen and Shabbat Shalom. 


 

Fri, March 29 2024 19 Adar II 5784