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Shabbat Shalom! This week’s Torah portion is Parashat Yitro, in which we find the 10 Commandments and Moses learning from his father-in-law how to be a stronger leader through delegating tasks to other potential leaders in the nation. In discussing the parasha with Philip, we got into a bit of a disagreement about the final of the Big Ten. I don’t disagree with him, fundamentally, that the prohibition on coveting is silly, because feelings cannot be commanded or controlled like that, and anyway, what’s wrong with wanting something you don’t have? But I found his view a bit simplistic and missing the larger picture of what Judaism has to teach us within and from this commandment. 

First, it should be said that there is no before and after in the Torah. There is clearly some chronological order, generations that follow and generations that came before. But much like the German drama Dark on Netflix, timelines are flexible and the rabbinic commentaries sometimes insist that things do not happen in quite the order they are displayed in the text, or that it was necessary for certain events to unfold later in order for others to unfold first. I don’t think any of the patriarchs or matriarchs are their own grandmothers or anything (spoiler alert), but we shouldn't rely too much on these being the “First Ten Commandments” as definitive proof of their inherent priority over the other 603. So the fact the “You shall not covet that which is your neighbors’” is number ten in this parasha, doesn’t mean it’s more important than “You shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor” which comes in the holiness code in the next book of the TaNaKh.

Further, the word covet is an English word, of course. Tahmood, the Hebrew word used here, seems to have more of an actionable meaning behind the emotional verb. Nearly all of the main commentators (Sforno, Chizkuni, Ibn Ezra) imply that to “covet” is to scheme to bring about acquiring that thing for oneself. And not just a similar thing or goal (a donkey, a house, a wife) but precisely your neighbor’s, perhaps to the point of committing murder in order to Single White Female your neighbor. Jeffrey Tigay of the Jewish Study Bible says, “Some view this as an ethical exhortation to master the kinds of impulses that would lead to violation of the preceding commandments, but the Hebrew verb sometimes refers to having designs on a desired object, perhaps even to scheming or maneuvering to acquire it. Hence the sense could be "do not scheme to acquire..." It may be one thing to hope to one day have nice things, a beautiful family, a thriving homestead, for yourself, but to covet someone else’s life is a dangerous business. 

And finally, even if it was as basic and unfulfillable really as some people think it is, that to covet simply means to desire, is it so wrong to try to teach us to just be satisfied with our own lot in life. Philip is right, of course, in insisting that if someone has no home, and they covet a home, those of us with homes should not view that as sinful. But I don’t think that is the intended audience for this exhortation toward gratitude. The Divine Creator created an abundant earth, and it is only human greed and short-sightedness that leads to the wide discrepancies of the “haves” and the “have-nots” in our society. To covet the basic necessities of life is not to show dissatisfaction with the lot in life God has given; rather it displays a proper response to human injustice and a perversion of the division of land God promised [more-or-less] alongside the commandment to not covet. However, for those who have a home, reasonable privacy, enough to eat, and other needs met to be able to live with dignity, to covet the bigger house or better toys of others, to desire someone who has made their unavailability to you clear (whether due to another relationship or simply disinterest), this is what drives greed and envy. This is what places a wedge between ourselves and gratitude, pushes us further from the Divine presence and from inner peace. 

This Shabbat and onward, let us focus on the positive, appreciate what we have, and seek deeper connections with each other and with the Divine. May we turn away from feelings of envy and greed, and may we feel at home with ourselves. Amen and Shabbat Shalom.